When you are in someone’s presence and you think you aren’t communicating with that person you are wrong; you are always communicating; you are most likely communicating indifference.
I noticed a blatant mass social indifference years ago whilst on bulk public transport. On the journey I tried to catch someones (anyones) eye, and failed for the whole journey, I suddenly felt alone and very angry realising just how ignorant and indifferent people can be regarding others around them. Fast forward a few years and I am in the same situation, seeing the same thing in myself, and now I realise that as well as being bad, I see that it’s timeless and that it can affect anyone.
What is with it, walking down the street not locking eyes with anyone? Do we think we’re that much better than other people? Or is it that we are too scared to interact? Surely we are smart enough to converse or at least look at a stranger and some good to come of it?
People are ugly like faces of rock, but beneath rock faces are gold mines waiting to be tapped. We need open minds to open mines! Think of all the social networking that could be done in transit; why is the rush hour such a social void? Imagine all the people that we pass by every day without so much as blinking an eye lid, they could be potential counselors, friends, even the love of our lives, but do we chose to communicate? Not actively, we choose the stony faced communication of ignorance and indifference which is hurled upon everyone we see, It screams at everyone we pass by: I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOU to everyone, including perfectly matched acquaintances, business partners, friends, or lovers. The losses are frightening, and it’s very sad.
I think I hate indifference, and ignorance, It’s like a cancer in society, it’s killing us by cutting us off from vital resources that others around us provide us, and becomes increasingly comfortable to live with, so far as to say that it’s an addiction, like a dying smoker choosing to inhale nictotine as their last comfort in their last breath.
The resources it cuts us off from are tremendous, but humans still have needs, so corporate giants pick up on our voids, and through mass marketing they portray their venues, products, or services as organised, socially acceptable temples of interaction - and it works; these contrived, and inorganic places, products and services become our only channels of acceptable socialising. The ironic part is that when we snob free and organic interaction and choose corporate temples we are taxed - heavily taxed, we are taxed by entry fees to sociable places, consuming sociable portions of social products, by viewing sponsored advertising in social places, and more blatantly on the internet, by actually paying extortive amounts to contact others. We lose out on the most valuable resource:time by ignoring others organically in times where they are abundant, and embrace people when they are few, and expensive in contrived temples. If we opened our eyes, smiled, and spoke to strangers we would get to know people faster, and more organically, rather than all the contrived ways under the sun to get us to interact. We would find new business partners, trade ideas and find love, we would find these things, share these things, receive these things, and give these things, why are we not doing it?
Western Citizens as a whole have almost no social aptitude. Western Citizens are the most socially inept on the earth. We need desks to hide behind, names, masks, uniforms, badges, goods, places, services, titles, and brands, and will only act towards other in one particular way in one particular fasion, and we ignore others any other time. It’s not because it’s not socially acceptable It’s because it’s just not comfortable, first, we would have to get noticed, which would imply being different than others, then we may have to deal with the inevitable rejection in front of others, then we would have to be charismatic enough to hold someone’s attention, then we would have to be honest enough to express our needs and not exaggerate our strengths in order to network on our level, then there is always the chance that our stranger is dangerous, a bullshitter or a con-person, and we would have to be strong at detecting, and dealing with it….and it all becomes too much, and hence we shut everyone away. I still don’t think it’s good enough.I have decided I’ll come up with a few pointers to help motivate us to interact with strangers.
- Realise that we are always communicating, and when we are in a persons presence, any time we think we aren’t communicating, we are probably actually communicating indifference.
- Think of what you really want in life, imagine there is someone in the room who has it, not to be selfish but do onto others as you would have them do unto you.
- Even if there is no-one obviously interesting before you; think of all the lost opportunities in your life because you lacked so much confidence or charisma that you couldn’t bring yourself to smile or talk to that one person. Now with uninteresting people think of it as practice… you will learn, and as you give so it shall be given.
- Don’t be afraid of seeming different, successful people are not the norm, it is not average to be envied, if you have the guts, take it in your stride, lap it up.
- Learn to deal with rejection, often, and over small things that don’t matter, that way when an inevitable large rejection comes, you will be prepared. Those with risk free, mundane lives are rejected too, and as they don’t risk unimportant things its mainly only big things that they get rejected for, and to add to that: it’s harder for them to take because they never learned how.
- Honesty: A covered bucket can’t be filled, let your needs be knows, its as simple as that; exaggerating is no help to yourself in the long run, an poor honest person asking will soon overtake a wealthy bragging, because his needs are actually being filled, this does not apply just to monetary needs but any lackings.
- Don’t be afraid of bad people It’s only social interaction, you won’t be asking anyone to marry you or join your company at first. Learn how to judge character early when the stakes are small; bullshitters, con-artists, and dangerous people won’t get away with much in a social setting, and you will be gaining skills for your whole life, in learning to deal with these.
In conclusion, don’t just interact with people with the lights are green, and it’s the right setting; become a guerrilla socialite, gain results in any setting, and when the strangers become acquaintances, don’t leave them on your contact list to rot, keep communicating until they are friends, and as for enemys - sometimes peace is just an understanding away, which could be a communication away.